we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
