Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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