My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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