"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize