I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think I sprained my soul last night
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
