We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
