For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize