will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
