Apparently you make a good broom.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
