I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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