John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
