The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
