they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my sisters under your porch take her home
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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