I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
