I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
