Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
