Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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