he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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