I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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