Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
