so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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