I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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