what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
