By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
