How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
one two three fourrrrnication!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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