it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
