Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so let's talk penis.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
