He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
