Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize