I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
