but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
