it wasn't lemon gatorade
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
