I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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