Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
