I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
