STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
