Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
wat bout pragnant strippers??
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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