Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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