yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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