I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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