Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
