So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
