worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
