Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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