So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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