Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
