I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
