why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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