i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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