So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
