I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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