Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
