I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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