I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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