walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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