nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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