it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
