Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
